Recast : Holly and Jessica.

Opening text for a PTA speech on arguing that children need to be taught to be careful beyond 'stranger danger'

Dear Parents/Guardians ,

I am extremely pleased to see a determined turn-out for today’s vital discussion on the Safety and Security of our Children. The children we, as much as you, are responsible for.

This has been particularly inspired by the Soham Murders on August 4^th, May the young souls of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman rest in peace, and let us begin with a moment of silence to commemorate their memory …

Holly and Jessica were ordinary girls, like OUR ordinary students…OUR ordinary children. It could have been ANY one of them in the wrong place at the wrong time shambled into a vicious, heart-breaking murder. This is the reason why it is potent for us to educate our children and provide them with the resources they need in order to survive a world not trusted, the simple ‘stranger danger’ reminder fails to be enough.

How you may ask? Classic examples in the recent years have proved the potential of inevitable and unimaginable offenders. 10 year old boys snatch the toddler James Bulger and caused his brutal death as well as unmentionable recorded injuries, a couple sexually torture their own children and young girls, then bury their precious bodies under the pits of their houses. Unfortunately this is not all that occurs here, here in our home land.

Our staff have united and took out the time to create activities and ideas that will help our children, some ideas include self-defence classes, safe teachings for social networking, phones and socializing. The remainder will be discussed and explained in more detail by the head of our new ‘KidPower’ programme…Miss James. To complete and integrate this in our children’s lives we need your help, because together we can make a difference.

It is certain that we do not want our children to be the next Holly or James.

OUR children are THEIR victims.

Thank You.

Commentary:

The opening ‘Dear…’ is used as a convention to address the audience. The alliteration ‘Safety and Security’ emphasizes the importance of the children’s welfare and introduces the topicality. The use of the plural personal pronoun ‘our’ is used to signify how the speaker and staff prioritise and value their students as their own and gives the audience reassurance and comfort. The capital letters are used to show the stress of voice on the particular words expressing emotion and emphasis. The rhetorical question engages the audience and keeps them interested. The use of the present tense ‘occurs’ and ‘continue’ suggests to the audience that there still is an unsafe environment. The alliteration and repetition of ‘here’ and ‘home’ reinforces the insecurities of their surroundings which expresses the significant concern. The imperative ‘will’ provides hope and assurance to the parents that the school intends to make a difference. The plural second person pronoun ‘Your’ specifically engages and targets the audiences to make them feel like they are involved. The uses of the proper noun ‘Holly and James’ is used as a metaphor for unfortunate victims and compares them to the audiences children which has an emotional and personal effect. The repetition and the use of noun 'children' stresses the importance continuously given to them and the word signifies their innocence and young age. Furthermore final sentence is short and emotional to give a lasting effect.